Young Life in Freetown | International Day of the Girl Child

My name is Inyilla Borteh Conteh. I was born in Sierra Leone to Fula and Susu parents, who are both Muslims.  I'm a 20-year-old mass communications student at Fourah Bay College.  Over the years I've tried to understand what it means to be a girl child growing up as a Muslim in a small and peaceful African community. Here's my experience. 

When I was five, I was told in many different ways that I couldn't dress like a boy. My mother would often say, "you're not a boy; walk gently; don't sit with your legs spread apart."

When I celebrated my tenth birthday, my dream was to make lots of friends, be it a pack of boys or a yoke of girls. One day I tried to play football at school, and my teacher said " football is a game for boys. From now on, you must stop playing with boys and start being cordial with the girls. I shouldn't have to tell you that liquids find their levels." 

I wanted to try lots of things, like climbing trees to pick fruit, or cruising on a bike like the boys did. But I couldn't. I stumbled upon many boundaries as I learned my role as a girl child in a traditional African Muslim society.

As I grew older, I was expected to clean the house, fetch water and cook meals but not find and chop logs for firewood. I was seen as "the weaker sex," as were other girls I grew up with. My chores were "meek" compared to that of my male cousins.

The wider community operated the same way as my home. When it was time for street cleaning, we girls would be asked to take up the easy tasks while the boys would be left with the tough jobs.

My family stuck to their Fula and Susu traditions. I was always dressed in wrappers and long thick skirts.  Every night, my late grandmother ( may her soul rest in peace) would gather us girls, to preach about womanhood.

"A girl must be modest, mild, patient, reserved, and obedient in order for her to find a good suitor,” she would say.

After my grandmother died, my mother set stricter rules. No girl was allowed out of the house past 7:00pm. My female cousins and I were expected to be home 30 minutes after the last school bell. If I failed, I was either grounded or starved. My Dad would flog anyone who failed to bring good grades home.

In my early teens, my life and experiences got wider and complicated. By eighteen, I finally gained some independence.

 " The ball is in your court now,” my mother advised after I took my final high school exams. "We've tried as much as we can to show you the light. It's up to you now, but still, no boyfriend allowed!"

Today, I still live at home with my Dad, Mom, kid sister, and a few relatives. My whole life is tailored to just how my parents wanted. I'm grateful because even though I couldn't live the life I wanted, I can at least say I lived a rich, cultural life as a girl child which has landed me on the right track.  For now, I talk to young girls in the community about my past and encourage them to never give up. I want to be a print journalist after my degree.

Happy girl child's day to all the girls and women of the world.